There are foods that taste good going down, but that do not necessarily taste good coming back up in the form of a stinky burp.
Boca Spicy “Chik’n” patties are one of those foods.
I was really craving the lone Spicy Chik’n patty in my freezer this morning, so I nuked it and settled it amid 2 slices of low-calorie bread that had been toasted with 2% pepperjack cheese and taco bell hot sauce. (This is a favorite hot sandwich I make for dinner. A breakfast variation is to subsitute a Morningstar veggie sausage patty or an egg “fried” in Pam.)
A nice, satisfying breakfast, chock full of protein and calcium. That is, until I got to work and downed a diet cherry coke, thus inducing a series of burps. Now usually when I’m at the office, I’ll be nice and muffle my burps, because mine tend to be quite juicy and manly sounding and I don’t want to totally alienate myself at work. Well, I muffled the burp and promptly got smelly reminders of my breakfast. Not good. Who knows how long the stink lingers and how far it could dissipate? I lived in fear the next 10 minutes or so as I continued to burp in silence and wildly fan the air away from my mouth, praying nobody would come by my cube to chitchat just then.
Luckily I was spared the embarassment of having someone come by and walk into a cloud of spicy “chick’n” burp. But even if it didn’t happen this morning, it could happen some other day, perhaps after I’ve eaten some Chinese food, or after having pasta, or even leftover Indian food. Curry burp-ups can be quite foul!
Will this stop me from eating my beloved yet potentially odoriferous foods? Nope! Will this give me ideas for silently torturing people around me? Possibly.
I never said I was nice! >:}