Doritos(or any nacho-cheese flavored tortilla chips) and I have had a long and passionate affair.Â
I remember being 3 andÂ coming home from the grocery store with my parents and not being able to wait to have some chips.Â I’d dig out the cheesiest ones and lick all the salty goodness off before finally eating the chips.Â The best part was licking my orange fingers afterwards to get every bit of powdered whatever-is-on-those chips.Â
Well, 23 years later, I still love rooting around in a bag for the cheesiest chips. Although now I don’t lick them, they just get shoveled into my mouth in a spicy, salty frenzy.Â I can easily do some damage to a bag of chips, which is why I don’t buy them as much.
Now, when they came out with all those WOW chips a few years back, I was so excited. This meant I could have twice as many of the new chips as the old chips! What’s not to like about that?Â Â Olestra issues aside, I really wasn’t doing myself a favor thinking like that. Now my chip binges were justified, since the damage wouldn’t be as bad were I to do the same with the regular kind.Â Right.
I’ve come to realize that my logic was truly flawed and that I’m just better off not bringing chips into my home, since they are a trigger food for me and I will sit there and gorge on them until the bag is almost empty. And then I’ll see there’s a little left, so I might as well finish the whole goddamn bag.
So I found myself walking down the chips aisle at Publix the other day. I don’t know why I torture myself like that, but I just have to see how my savory friends are doing without me.Â I walk by the fat-free and baked chips and see the light Doritos.Â I pause to greet my old friends.Â I debate putting a bag in my cart, since they seem to not stock the light Doritos as often.Â I know that bringing those chips home is a risk, since I might just start with a few and then that might start a full-out binge.Â I decide that I can’t cut chips out of my life forever and that I’m going to have to learn to deal with them.Â I also warn myself that by bringing these home, I can’t beat myself up if I do binge.Â So in the cart they go, awaiting an uncertain future.
Last night I was waiting for dinner to cook and I was STARVING.Â I could have been good and had a salad or veggies, but that’s not what I really wanted.Â I wanted some of those Doritos.Â On the Core program, you are allowed a certain number of points each week that you can use towards stuff that’s not Core.Â I thought that this would be a judicious use of some of those points.Â I opened the bag, and let the aroma of processed cheese powder overwhelm me.Â Then I peeked in theÂ bag and selected the first cheesy chip I saw and popped it into my mouth. Ohhhhhh, I’d missed that.Â I felt guilty and put the bag down and went to watch tv for a few minutes.Â But now that I’d had a taste of the chips, I couldn’t stop thinking about them. So I went back, pulled out a handful and PUT THE CHIPS AWAY IN THE CABINET.Â I went back to the couch and savored every bite of those stupid chips. And most importantly, I DID NOT GO BACK FOR MORE!!!
This in itself is a victory for me.Â Usually I just say to hell with it and keep munching. But something finally kicked in and I was able to put the bag away and not think about them.Â I wonder how long this new-found strength will last?